Je Dois Partir
by Sincerely-Tragedy
Summary: Her shoulders shook as she slowly sank down to the floor, gasping back sobs. Why did she still feel so, so empty? Wasn't wiping out those bastards enough? Why did his image still haunt her dreams, leaving her a crying deranged mess? Warning: Character Death, Implications of Suicide, and well, Feels...


**Je Dois Partir**

She knew what was going to happen... There was no chance of her escaping the Female-Titan. She was basically dead already. But, was this really how it was going to end?

Turning her head to look behind her, her mind blanked out in fear. The Female-Titan's foot would make impact with her tiny body before she would even have time to consider applying evasion tactics.

She faced front, eyes closing, the expected force hitting her. But from the side, not from behind. Her eyes flew open as she went spiralling out of harm's way. Twisting her body, she faced in awe as her rescuer took her place, the only thing her eyes caught on to was the green fabric of a Survey Corps cloak.

She released her cable, free falling the short way to the ground as the cable whipped into place. The Female-Titan didn't appear to notice the difference, nor that it's original target was still alive. It simply took off in the direction of Eren Jaeger, not that Petra was focused on this. After gracelessly falling to the ground, she bounded towards her fallen saviour. Tears burned her deep blue eyes as she recognized the man. "C- Captain..." She choked out, falling down beside the bloodied body. "Why? Levi..."

All of her pained cries fell upon deaf ears, his cold grey eyes staring peacefully up at the sky that peeked through the trees. Petra felt herself shatter as she pulled his body against her, resting his head against her chest, as sobs wracked her body. If had gotten at the time he had, than he could have gotten to Eren and taken him out of the titan's way. Away from where that damn bitch could have touched the youth. _But... He, he saved me... No. He_ died _for_ me_..._

"Captain, why? Why would you... how could you..." tears slipped down her face, falling down to stain a dead man's uniform. "Oh Captain... You're all dirty... I thought you didn't like messes? But look, look at the mess you've made of yourself..." Petra gagged a bit on her own spit, her mind refusing to believe what was so painfully obvious. Tears continued to fall as she held him closer, as close to her shattered heart as she could.

* * *

"... award this meddle of honour to one of Humanity's finest cadets, we certainly wouldn't be living in an era of such peace with out your contribution."

Petra was only half listening to whatever was being spewed. Meddle of Honour, ha. She didn't fight for humanity. She hadn't fight for anything, really. She was just a cold, numb shell. She was honestly depressed that the war against the Titan's had finally come to an end. Sure, she had fought the hardest, the most viciously, but only because she hadn't known what else to do. But now? Now what was left to fight for? What was left for her in this world?

"Congratulations, Petra Ral." The speaker shook her hand warmly. She turned away, walking back to her seat to continue sitting quietly, her mind anywhere but where her body was. Images, tastes, smells, a swirl of emotion filled her chest as a single tear slid down her cheek. Was her revenge done with?

* * *

Petra blinked at her reflection. Three years. Three years since the war ended. And still, still she hadn't left the castle. Even with everyone gone, with everyone outside the walls, exploring the world, she refused to leave. _This was the last place we were together..._

She squeezed her eyes shut, bending her head down. Opening them to watch as the water swirled down the drain of the sink, steam rising from the tap to warm her cold face. If only her feelings of incompleteness could disappear as easily as the water did down the drain.

Her shoulders shook as she slowly sank down to the floor, gasping back sobs. Why did she still feel so, so empty? Wasn't wiping out those bastards enough? Why did his image still haunt her dreams, leaving her a crying deranged mess?

She kicked out, hitting the bathroom door. She didn't feel the pain she should have felt from the blow. Kicking it again, she started screaming at it, kicking it again and again. "Why?! Why did this happen like this? Why am I here? Why are you gone? Why, why did you leave me like this? _Why_?"

Ten years. Ten years she'd forced herself to live on, to complete the impossible task of saving humanity. Even when everyone else had died, she kept pushing herself. For a man who would never know of her love for him. How could he? He was dead. D-E-A-D. Yet she still expected to one day her him praise her in that low tone of his, with just a ghost of smile across those damn lips. Why? If he was dead, and if she truly had done everything there was left to be done, then why keep fighting?

Petra jerked awake, still sitting, numb and alone, on the bathroom floor. The tap still ran, but the water had most likely turned cold by now. Not that it mattered. Nothing mattered now. And so, for the first time in an entire decade, Petra smiled.

_Maybe... Maybe if there is another side... I'll meet him there..._


End file.
